You Don’t Know What To Feel Anymore? You’re Lost.

Feeling lost? 

Well it’s unfortunate that you feel this way. 

Life doesn’t have a go to manual, it happens. You can listen to other’s advice, who’ve been there before and still feel stuck.

I believe it is to do with time. A lot of the day is spent at work and that which we have spare, is either used up sleeping, doing chores or mindlessly scrolling.

Then one day this feeling sneaks up on you out of the blue. Once you’re there, it can be extremely hard to bounce back from.

Obviously, you want nothing more than to go back to having the plan. Yet, some part of you doesn’t want it. As if a self sabotage is going on. 

This article was inspired by a video by Wanhee kee, go check his video out. 

Why this video clicked 

For me, I’m in this part of my life. 

You’re never so sure what to do or where to go. Plans you made not so long ago seem daunting or a waste of energy. It almost feels like smog has been levelled all around you. 

The uncanny thing about this, is your goal is still there. It rises above like a mountain, looming in the distance, yet this puts you off.

In a similar way to when you look down a corridor and it seems to get longer as you stare.

The feeling of lostness stunts your creative edge and desire to pursue anything meanwhile. 

Although I’m not in my 30s, I still have this feeling in me. My closest friends have their own careers set and working towards properties. And I know comparison is the thief of joy, yet it’s tricky to not compare in this state, as you may be aware. 

This feeling is normal. Many people wander in life without an aim or purpose. You can ask what they’d love to do, and you may get a semi enthusiastic goal or dream. But deep below you know they won’t be moving themselves forwards.

Though, I’d say it being normal isn’t the camp you want to be in if you resonate with the video or this article.

Wanhee adds an understanding to his words which resonates with anyone who feels this way. And the advice is very solid too.

I’ll go over this in my article, with my own anecdotes too. 

1. Break the Flow

As we grow up, there’s a premade conveyor belt to follow. 

Go to Nursery, to school, college, university, get a job and then finally retire. 

During this process, jumping off of the belt is shunned and looked down upon. In some cases you’ll lose friends and family because of that choice.

So because of this, most allow themselves to be forced into a mould that isn’t true to them. No incentive to change from the beaten path. And it’s in this cycle that many people get caught.

These expectations make it so hard to even think about, let alone taking the leap. 

By jumping off, you take life into your own hands. This breaking of the flow, as Wanhee calls it, is in effect making your own path.

No one has gone this way before. It’s up to you to find the way.

Yet the conveyor belt of life stays in view, you see your friends or family move along smoothly. This feeling is the one described above, that it seems like you’re being left behind.

And in a sense, you are. But the caveat is that’s your old life. 

The jungle only opens itself to the one who braves it. 

Just as the conveyor belt is safe, warm and secure. The jungle is a tough master, yet adversity strengthens you quickly. 

How to break the flow

Before flying off the beaten path, make sure to take mini breaks to disconnect yourself from the regular reality. Things like:

• Go in nature
• Visit a different city
• Travel abroad 

These are simple ways to disconnect you from routine, which in turn allows you to think freely without the habitual box. 

Your mind becomes open and in turn you connect with yourself more. It’s in these moments when you’ll have an idea that sprouts up from nowhere and is actually very close to your inner voice.

Top tip: Bring a notepad or use a note app to write down ideas or synchronicities. These will help you remember and review the thoughts whilst being disconnected from daily life. 

2. Patience

“All good things, come to those who wait”

This quote really capsulises this part of his video. 

Your true and innermost desires won’t reveal themselves after one trip away. It takes at least 21 days for habits to form and then some to chip away the build up of negative or false programming. 

Think about being fit, and then becoming obese. It won’t take 2 weeks to lose that weight. Rome wasn’t built in a day, yet fell in one.

For some, this is the hardest part of the journey. Being in the proverbial Dead Marshes isn’t fun, as we know. Yet by being patient and continuing against the wind will see you through eventually. 

A large side note about the quote I mentioned: 

Please don’t expect opportunities to arrive at your doorstep if you aren’t putting any work in. Just the same as the horizon won’t walk to you. 

Action is what gets you out of this feeling. 

Action With Patience

Couple action with patience. You’ll find that clarity will present itself because you act on your desires whilst never giving in to the temptation of stopping.

Wanhee also mentions this, but further he says that after your break, during travels or the time in between jobs, is the perfect time to explore. 

You’re free and so now I have an anxious feeling about going somewhere. 

Choose a direction and head in it. This is where patience comes in, eventually, because you are free from daily responsibilities in terms of a job (as an example) your brain can focus on what it wants to without having the job tab open.

A gut message will appear, in whatever shape that may be to you. Wanhee describes that you need courage to act on this. Because your brain will tell you it’s a stupid idea, due to the build up of false programming mentioned earlier.

Then action.

Follow what your gut is telling you. It is most likely this direction that will lead you out of feeling lost.

3. Courage

“Fortune favours the Bold”

When you receive an opportunity, you cannot wait around. Especially if it’s from your gut.

Most people will get this feeling and then start an inner dialog. They’ll open a court case in their mind to find an answer. 

Yet, opportunity isn’t one to wait; no less be put under the microscope. If you haven’t got the cajones to take it by the hand, she will simply move on to the next person who will. 

Analysing success is a bad attempt to stall and make up for your lack of decisiveness. 

Hence Courage. 

Who knows whether this will succeed. Who knows if you’ll waste your time. 

The choice to take the opportunity right there and then will test you. Doubts and criticism will be hurled your way, and you ignored it, just to satisfy your OWN curiosity?

That’s enough to make opportunity and your gut blush. 

Moving with speed solidifies the rewards at the end. 

And let’s say you fail. Then you failed faster and learned more in a shorter period, or even before that court case had concluded! WIN WIN.

4. Trust that the dots will connect

This point hammers home it’s time for a software upgrade, in your mind. 

You’ve jumped off of the conveyor belt and are heading in your own direction. Yet in your mind, something doesn’t add up.

It may be that you’ve learned random things in the past. Maybe you went from:

a football coach, 

to a dancer,

to a website developer 

whilst learning basket weaving & knitting on the side.

In the conveyor mindset, none of these have any relevance to each other at all. And you’ll be forgiven if you feel these are outlandish examples. So I implore you to use your own examples.

Our point here is there are fundamental skills you learned in each, that synergise together and towards your future gut feeling path. I’ll expand:

• Football coaching taught you leadership, courage, discipline and resilience,
• Dancing taught you flow, initiative and sensitivity to energy,
• Website developing taught you marketing, copywriting and design
• Both hobbies taught you how to relax, be patient and skill acquisition (in terms of mastery, you have the blueprint to become a master in any other field).

Without knowing it, you built a valuable skill set that will serve throughout your life. At the time, it felt random, yet looking back it’s deeply connected. 

5. Ignore the naysayers 

Everyone has an opinion, you’re reading one here and have already formed one based on the video or these words.

By taking the courageous move and leaving the belt, you’re on display. 

You stand naked in front of the belt that moves on forwards. The older people further ahead will let you know all the ways you’ll fail and the younger lot will sail on past with smirks on their lips.

You will receive hate. Yet when you start getting that, it means you’re gaining traction.

By seeing people leave the beaten path, it highlights within their souls that they could do this too. They could follow you and find their own, true way. But they lack courage. And don’t.

Instead of internalising this, they will project it out to the person who is different.

You.

Do you have time to stop and listen to these hateful projections? No. 

You’re too busy cutting a path deeper into the jungle. 

What if you listened, and turned back, 3 feet away from Gold? Don’t be the one to never find out how close you were…

Resolve to find it yourself. 

God has sent you synchronicities and opportunities, just for you to turn around before you strike big? 

Conclusion

Wanhee adds a final point in which your 30s are the new 20s. Though I cannot comment further on this because I’m younger than 30. Though, I connect with his message regardless so I will add his points.

We are all living longer, we have more time to figure things out and never has there been a better opportunity to try. We no longer have to survive, our most basic needs are met. 

So, use your 10s to lay the foundations, the 20s for trying out a lot of stuff and finding one that connects and your 30s is refining that thing you love.

I resonated with this message so much that an article had to be made about it. So go check out the video if you haven’t already! I feel it has a very down to Earth message with actionable steps. Plus Wanhee mentions spiritual aspects too.

As a side note, we know men (I’m talking about myself as much as other bros) don’t fully mature until we’re in our early 30s. So it may be that we feel lost because we’re not yet out of the growth stage. 

If you want to learn more, add new stimuli.. Hit 30 with two feet running, because you were curious, followed synchronicities and got to know yourself.

Being lost is scary and sometimes it can get you really down.

But as long as you find a looming mountain in the distance, and head towards it with your gut forwards. 

Eventually, a clear path will open itself to you, accompanied with riches. (Note i’ve not made it yet, but read any successful person’s story. You’ll find a common thread.)

I hope you enjoyed this article and gave Wanhee’s video a watch.

Comment and share, and until next time,

Good Weather.

Soulsurfer.