Spiritual ways to become comfortable with change.

Often we run around our lives with a sense that the objects, people, systems and dynamics should stay the same. It’s like a far cry from our childhood days when we desperately wanted a day to never end. The days you refused to go to sleep because it was so good that you wanted to remember all of it

Yet, as surly does the sun rise in the east, so too does night pass. That day turns into a memory and you’re on to the next one. Not only can children relate to this feeling, but adults too.

Be it a holiday, time off work, a particularly good hobby session or time with the family, we don’t want them to end. Stay the same, stay in the same place forever.

Yet, this is not how life works. And who would want that? I mean really think about it.

Wanting a changeless life 

I believe the reason people are so frightened of change, isn’t change itself. Everything that has ever existed, from oak to ash to thorn, will have had this force acted upon it. Every cell in your body changes too, so even you are changing at a cellular level. 

The real reason is harder to express, but to sum it up, it’s easier to stay the same. Or so it seems that way. 

Change represents the natural order for things to adapt and grow. Of which, hurts. In order to grow, one must rebel against death. You must be willing to get over any obstacle that comes your way. That requires energy expenditure and thought.

Ultimately, your brain wants the path of least resistance. A path that requires minimal energy loss, to conserve you from a nasty death. Such as being mauled by a bear or freezing to death. 

So there are tasks like collecting fire, building a shelter, finding food and water that are non negotiable. Yet, unless your survival is concerned, why would you go and make your house look pretty or more functional?

Would you really go for a hike during these harsh times? Or build a surfboard and catch some waves? 

Hopefully you can tell the time period I’m talking about here. 

It’s a safety mechanism, our brains want to conserve as much energy as possible whilst doing the least amount of work; efficiency.

Efficiency and how it has changed

This mechanism is likely the reason that humans are thriving today. Without it, maybe your grandfather, a few thousand generations removed, would have hit that gnarly jump off of the 300 foot cliff into the sea, instead of finding the safe way down.

I get that this is an exaggerated example, but hopefully it paints a picture. By doing things in a different manner, radical or not, requires testing and lots of energy expenditure. Not just this, but a risk to your life. 

In a more grounded example, imagine you’re a prehistoric hunter. You know the immediate 5 miles around your camp very well. The lads are off to hunt a giant mammal today. But one of them gets the bright idea to explore further, outside of this radius. You’ve also not got the resources to venture that far yet with any guarantee of success.

This would be akin to not having an area mapped out on a survival game, on hardcore mode. And that analogy still doesn’t get close. You got to be on watch, all the time. One dodgy footfall, an ankle is gone, far from home. One misplaced shot with the spear, you could be hewn in half. 

Hopefully my point is clear enough now. Going outside of known territory was a risky game for our ancestors. So the pace in which they did it would be the same speed in which they collected enough resources to make it worthwhile. This is efficiency. 

Imagine the consequences of blundering into unknown territory, woefully under equipped. Losing one man would be devastating in a tribal dynamic of a few hundred people. Now imagine you lose a whole fighting aged party. 

Thankfully, life has changed since then, at an exponential rate. The only things that haven’t caught up are our brains. We’re still wired like these people above. 

Efficient system

Fear of change

We have the resources to make anything happen. If a question arises about a one off hexagonal washer for the engine mount of a specific model of car, but it’s the special sport version where 100 models were made, you can access an answer in record speed. (I just made that up, I don’t know if hexagonal washers are used for engine mounts, but i could find out.)

And here is the point. 

We can find out an answer to most questions instantaneously. Maybe you have to do a little cross referencing or reverse image searching, but it’s still a far cry from getting access to a library and doing it that way. 

But I seriously digress. Why do we still not want to grow when our lives aren’t even at stake?

Because our brains trick us into believing that we could die. So in terms of efficiency, it’s easier to want and wish that the holiday will never end. Food, shelter, water and heating. Anything over this is a waste, in your brain’s eye. 

Plus, change could mean death, so it makes sense that you’d want to stay in la la land, rather than go back to normal life. Of which you know you’ll return to the same hellish routines, that you won’t change…

Change implies, loss of energy, being made an example of, being different, going out of the 5 mile radius. It’s anti tribe behaviour and every brain is wired to reject this.

Yet we live a life that these distant ancestors couldn’t even picture. Not even 50 years ago people could imagine what we have now. 

Conclusion

We have the resources. It’s no longer life or death. 

So what on God’s good green Earth are you waiting for? 

To get further than a comfortable hell, where you’re cut a thousand times and slowly die everyday. You must be willing to override the brain’s efficiency framework that keeps you caged. 

You must accept that things change. Yes, your holiday will end. But it doesn’t help anyone to think of that. Rather, what can you learn Now? How has the rest helped you? Do you want to live more like this in the future? What could you do to make this possible?

Change = Energy loss which in turn = Growth. (With the correct framework)

There will be growth pains, there will be times you want to turn back and there will be times you’re abandoned. 

But this is how life has CHANGED.

Our ancestors grew with resources. We can grow by pushing aside the old framework.

If you don’t roll with the punches, you lose. 

What opportunity is change offering you, Now?

Have a blessed day, 

SoulSurfer.