is purpose worth all your effort?

This article will be about a realisation I’ve had, about putting to much focus on the thing you are meant to do. We all feel at some point that you’re doing the wrong job or work, and that feeling sucks. You thought to yourself, “this is it! I’ve found my purpose!”

Yet give it a couple months, years or even a decade and one day the thought passes your mind, this ain’t it. And this thought lingers like a bad smell. You try harder at your graft but it feels like wasted energy or time. It’s as if your soul is telling you something, is it worth staying or moving on? 

Hopefully, this piece will sound a chord within you and maybe give some clarity on the matter. In any case, I hope you enjoy. 

If I were to ask myself this question 7 or 8 months ago, my response would’ve been “yeah, duh.” I mean, why wouldn’t you want to know what to do with your life. The thing you were placed on Earth for. It’s a big question with endless answers. 

With such a large question, it can be tempting to focus all your energy on it. Why wouldn’t you? Yet this is exactly what makes you feel deflated after the realisation as the one described above. However, there is another side to the coin. Understanding that you’ve wasted countless hours working a job you truly never cared for, your only excuse being it was too hard to follow your gut.

Which one is worse, you tell me. 

Why not focus?

When you find out about purpose, destiny, fate, Wyrd, God etc. and link these things together, a light switch goes off. You realise that you’re the architect of your life. You can choose which path to follow towards your calling. It’s a glorious feeling, one which will leave you with a sense of peace, knowing you now have a direction. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a bad thing. It’s brilliant you’re at this point and you should continue ! Keeping it in mind at all times, yet not the driving factor.

The reason being, it changes. You have the understanding that one day you feel 100% for your work. Yet all it takes is a trigger, a small trigger to set a chain of feelings off which will leave a hollow sense inside. It feels as if you’ve been cheated. After having invested, how ever much for you, into this work only to be left with a feeling of dissatisfaction and no direction. Where not only a few days before you knew your path well. 

Feelings do change like the weather, you can be happy, sad or both at the same time! For it to transform into another. But this feeling isn’t the same as base line emotions. What you feel IS still energy in motion and does affect your mood. Yet somehow it’s deeper, below the discontent, lack of direction and emptiness, it lurks. 

I like to think of this as a sphere where all the energy inside moves at different rates, volatile to say the least. 

I find it helps to view it this way because how can you focus on pure energy. It would be akin to staring at the sun. 

The analogy 

All of this is to say purpose is fickle. The more I ponder it, the more I realise there may never be an end to it. Or if there is, it could be similar to enlightenment. In a sense, once you attain it , you pop out of existence. 

This is the core reason not to keep 100% focus on it. One day you’re up there, next day you’re not. 

I’m sure this is why most people choose to ignore and push it to the side. As it’s easier to forget about the reason to keep going and the responsibility you have to yourself. They’d prefer to have monkey mind, little accountability; an “easy life”. The problem is, subconsciously they’re tormenting themselves. Knowing this current position is wrong. So far off that they don’t even know where to begin to find their way. 

Back to focusing too much, your effort won’t be wasted, but could make you feel jaded. It’s not worth the wobbling that comes after such intense chasing. It could even take you a few steps back, being in a state of uncaring. As it feels like you’re no longer following what you should be. 

Yet, this is part of the path! Part of the joy in life is this realisation. One fundamental law is change, everything is in a constant state of change. So with this logic in mind, how could your purpose stay the same? It’s only natural a change will come. Another layer of the onion peeled, closer to the core. So to speak….

How many of us have wish for a flat life. An easy one in nature, yet absent of any soul or challenge. As calm as a mill pond.  No ups, no downs. This sort of life looks great on paper but in reality, will have you tearing your hair out. Assuming you have an undeniable spirit and will. As with all things, there are people who live like this. They cope with the comfort, by sinking deeper into it. Which, in my opinion, is a unfavourable choice to make. 

Life is about challenge. There needs to be negatives so the positives can shine. A picture without contrast is a boring scene. Same with life, if you cannot compare the good or bad to something, it becomes nothing; or if it is something, it sinks into the background. 

The point.

And so we arrive at the point of this article. To not chase after your purpose. She will hide from you, sensing your needy nature. Unattracted to a clingy attitude. She wants someone who knows their direction and works out how to get there on the fly. By searching hard, you get the opposite, you’ll find nothing, only your feelings of emptiness. 

So then, chase not your purpose. That’s the North Star, it guides you. But never so intently you lose the forest for the trees. 

As you follow the guide, and do what you need to now. She will unveil here set in time. 

I hope this article was thought provoking and that you enjoyed it. Please feel free to comment your own perspectives. Have a blessed day, 

Soulsurfer.