Do you ever feel like you should be doing something, even to a point where you know the direction it takes you, but never actually take the first step towards it? Yeah, I’m talking about that.
A lesson for yourself in the art of self awareness. Buckle up bucko, it’s gonna be bumpy.
Who cares?
If you thought this whilst reading, take a good long look at yourself. Are you where you want to be? Let that sink in. Saying your daily affirmations isn’t going to get you where you want to be. Staring at the goal from afar won’t do either.
One metric can be used; action.
By thinking who cares, you’re really disrespecting yourself at a fundamental level. You’re consciously or subconsciously choosing to avoid taking the hard path. Thinking, analysing or writing about your problems side steps your issues, in a major way.
It feels as if you’re going somewhere, you see all the issues ahead. Your feet feel like they’re moving. And yet….. they’re not. You’re sat down observing an imaginary path from the now. Projecting your mind into a future that hasn’t yet flourished, and won’t. Because you’re not a seer.
Analyst
This sort of behaviour is analytical. Obviously, you care about your goals and so think about how to get to them. Quite normal to say the least, yet it gets to a point where all progress stops. You run analytic mind games on repeat where it feels like improvement. And yet you’ve not gone further.
As usual, video games serve a great analogy. Let’s say you like MMO RPGs. Huge world, full of other players, places to explore, things to do and achievements to tick off. This whole world has been created to make you FEEL progression. From levelling your character up, getting cooler abilities. Upgrading your weapons, improving armour, tick more lists or getting higher numbers.
And to top this off, the colours and world are designed to keep you interested. The more you play, the more you’ll find out about it. The more you understand and notice high level players with cool items, you feel scarcity; and grind to that. Once there, the meta changes slightly and you go for the new items; which could take weeks.
This is the gameplay loop, and in terms of attention, the best game is one which never ceases its loop.
The bait was applied, hook was thrown and you’ve gulped onto it eagerly. From now, it’s only being pulled and as I said, a successful game keep you there for as long as possible. Now compare this to your goal, that you haven’t made progress to yet. How similar is the loop? Go on, pause here, I’m waiting.
Hopefully you thought about it. Good for you.
Do you notice your gameplay loop? Think about goal, analyse the problems you “could” encounter, think about those problems, write an article like this one or take the easiest task that requires the least amount of time and drag it out. Possibly some other steps, like get a cup of tea as it helps you relax, look at the paper wondering what to write… you get my point.
The savviest reader will understand I’ve come to this conclusion myself and it really bothers me. As it bothers you.
You run your mouth, to yourself or others, doing the bare minimum towards the goal and call it a day. Then you wonder why oh why you’ve gotten nowhere in the year. Actually, bother is the wrong word. It’s infuriating that you’ve eluded yourself in such a cunning way.
I’d hope that if you relate to this, you want to change too. And knowing where to start is tough, which is probably the reason you relate to this in the first place.
Honestly, I’m trying to find this out too. Though, as I become more aware there are a few things that can be done. The first step is finding fuel for your desire. If you haven’t got anything in the tank, you’re going nowhere. Ponder what it is you really want and where you see yourself? Who is around you and how do you feel.
Really imagine yourself there at the goal. Should feel very good. Keep this habit up until it becomes subconscious, to the point where you don’t need to try. At this point you’ll have the “stuff” to keep on going. Of course, the second is finding something to do, to funnel that life energy into; which is a common trap to fall into.
Not knowing what you want to be, means not knowing what to do. Because you don’t know what to do, you don’t know what to become and the cycle repeats. The trick is to look for something your good at and enjoy doing. See if there are any possible ways to make a living, if that’s your goal of course, then do do do.
Keep doing this thing until you feel like changing. And I don’t mean a normal fleeting feeling. I mean the kinda one that you know deep down, and only you know it. Once this feeling comes up and you need to change, you may feel lost. Now is the time to be silent, meditate and listen for threads of interest related to the original activity. This thread will lead you to another activity you’ll enjoy.
Rinse and repeat. Obviously it’s not this straight forward. Life has bends and challenges, your job is to navigate them. But if you’re doing it to improve your life, then eventually you’ll get to your goal and start the process anew.
There are times where you don’t know, and that’s fine. That not knowing but wanting to change regardless is a great sign for growth. This awareness, is ultimately what will decide if you get it or not. If you become less aware and forget about it, you’ll end up drifting to a future you’re not happy with.
So challenge yourself, get to know who you are on a deep level. Ask God for a hand and He will give you it.
Hope this was helpful, have a blessed day,
Soulsurfer.
