For me, this year’s journey has been a turbulent one. Every step has involved navigating either a high or a low.
A year of confusion and clarity at the same time. It made me question my own inner workings, the way I see the world, and the fundamental beliefs I’ve held since I was 16 or so.
Most of all, this year has been one of growth and accepting the pain that comes with it.
In a way, I feel I’ve wasted it by drifting. But on the other hand, I’ve grown more in the last four months than I have in my entire life, with encouragement from friends, family, and brothers.
Yet, I know there is more to be done, and I’m hitting the gas to find it. I am coming to grips with my self-destructive tendencies, avoidances, and trauma hidden under my bright-eyed smile.
This step is about accepting, trusting, and loving myself, which I’ve neglected for, I suppose, my whole life.
A Brief Summary of the Year So Far
At the beginning of the year, I was a painter and decorator who hated his life, completely lost and stuck in a “career” that looked good on paper. I had moments where I really felt like giving up.
Through a friend and mentor of mine, I met a great role model named Scott Poynton, who owns a community called Adifferentway. I’ve been part of this for the last five months, and it has really helped me make some tough life decisions. Without his support, I might still be in a role I despised, or worse.
After decorating, I worked in a factory and a gym as an instructor. During that time, I had an amazing opportunity to go to London with an absolute legend, Will Coomer, who owns a community called Congruency, and Dustin Thomas, the real-life wizard.
After London, I went back to the slow way of life at home, but not for long, as there was a group in Valencia that I was invited to join. Another fantastic time with bros from around the world, crushing it in all areas of life. A taste of a life that could be.
And then most recently, I went to Egypt with Dustin, Will, and a few of the bros from Valencia. This trip was the biggest eye-opener for me ever. This time, I was surrounded by brothers in every sense of the word. They weren’t only inspiring, but they encouraged deep connection building, allowing us all to open up about private and deep internal dialogues. Not to compare or judge, but to be heard and process some of it. In the quick description above, the trip was nothing short of life-changing.
And so, after this trip, I went straight to the funeral of a wonderful and close lady in my life; quite the return party. However, the real kicker is a place I love, but full of routines and preconceived problems: home. My own and my family’s wrapped up in a cosy house. I don’t blame anyone, yet I feel these trips have changed me.
I realise I have my own problems that need to be worked on, and when I’m at home, they become hidden away in the depths of other problems. So, in the most loving way possible, I want to take these problems and solve them myself.
To get closer to the riddle of life and improve myself even further.
Second Journey Around Europe
This leads me to something I’ve felt called to do since last year but covered over with the need to get a “secure” job.
After Egypt, I had some incredible takeaways. The first being, I don’t love and trust myself. The second being, I’ve become too reliant on other people for advice, mentorship, problem-solving, and, in a way, looking for people to take on my own burdens.
Then the stars aligned. I felt a call to travel, a need to explore, be more independent, and solve my own issues in new environments. Not only that, it’s the year of the Dragon and my personal travel year.
So here I am, in Pamplona, with a group of brothers who are crushing it. After this, I plan to explore some of Europe with a friend from this group.
But rather than being on a “find yourself” travel trip, where you live in the moment and push aside all of your problems, I’m here to improve myself in all aspects and spheres. I will document the process throughout, using my thoughts and introspection as tools. It’s also a perfect opportunity to have a record of my adventures and thought processes at the time.
Pamplona – Run the Bulls
For the first stint, I will be in Pamplona for the upcoming Running of the Bulls. As of writing, I’m two days away from the event itself. The energy in this city is really special. It was a Thursday evening, and the streets outside of the hostel were completely packed.
I’ve never been to a city with so much buzz and excitement. It makes me look forward to the time I’ll spend with the bros over this weekend. Walking through the city, people were on both sides of the streets, standing and sitting.
While I confess I won’t be running during the event, I will watch and see what really goes on. It’s my first experience doing this, so for now, I’ll soak up the energy and keep a smile on my face. Much fun and excitement to come.
The Plan After Pamplona
The plan is that there is no plan. Maybe it’s something I should do more of in the future, but at this point, I feel a bubbling excitement from not knowing where I’ll be in two weeks. Normally, not knowing really scares me, and yet that’s why I’m doing this, again.
My last trip was influenced by an old boss who suggested I take my car. This time, I wanted to backpack, so that’s what I’ve done.
I do have some ideas. To keep costs down, I will volunteer for a bed and food. This will let me explore, keep costs down, and work on my own projects, including myself. Volunteering is an exceptional way to get involved in the culture and build connections with people.
The last time I travelled, I chose places in the middle of nowhere since I had a car. But that was an excuse. I was scared to get in front of people.
This time, I want to put myself in those positions. Not only will it improve my social skills, but it will also help with language learning and give me time to find spots in whatever city I end up in.
Also, people are doors to new realities that you never knew existed. There are inherent opportunities that can be exchanged between people. It’s wonderful when you meet someone so aligned with you that it’s like you were already friends.
So, I will volunteer in cities for sustained travel and time to work on projects, but also be free enough to accept opportunities as they come.
And when God is on your side, opportunities flow in abundance.
My Intentions
This trip has been set with intention. The more I grow, the more I look to be intentional with what I do. You have a choice with life: you can either drift along or choose your path with clarity.
It’s also worth mentioning that I’m not always perfect with this intention, or else I’d be closer to my goals I set earlier in the year. Yet, having the awareness that I can do better means that this will happen, as long as I keep focus.
And it’s not to say that you have to know how things will work out. It is to say that when you make a decision or commitment, you make it knowing what you want out of it.
In this way, you allow God to help you. Instead of being given something you didn’t ask for but suited your situation.
I’ve already mentioned my intentions above and without getting too deep, they are:
- Become closer to myself
- Travel and explore around South/Central Europe
- Work on projects that benefit the future me
- Live a life that I enjoy and am inspired by
These are general, I get that. But before I share with others, I want to work on them. Part of my issue before was talking before walking, in order to get that external validation.
I want this time to be different, though I share these intentions with the hope that they inspire you to be more intentional with your goals and direction.
Live in being & good weather,
Elliott.
Hey people!!!!!
Good mood and good luck to everyone!!!!!
Absolutely, blessings to those who chose to run
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